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Double Breasted
-Sarah, Utah
One day during my 26th week I rushed to get my kids off to school and had little time to get myself dressed. We all got out the door as the bus arrived, just in time. I went off to work and kept noticing, all day, that my boobs felt really uncomfortable (most women know that this is just one of the joys of pregnancy!).
When I got home later that day, I couldn't wait to take off my bra. I slipped it off under my shirt, dropped it in the laundry and went about making dinner. As I was preparing the meal, I kept noticing that my boobs were still really uncomfortable. I lifted my shirt to see if I had a rash or something, and I couldn't believe my eyes. I was still wearing a bra! I guess in my haste to get dressed I had accidentally put on two bras! It seems our bodies aren't the only things that go wacky during pregnancy; our minds do too!!!
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This Seat Taken?
-Kathleen, Texas
I am seven months pregnant, quite huge and I keep growing out of my clothes. Last week I went shopping to buy (hopefully) my last bunch of maternity clothes. When I left the store with my bags in tow, I noticed that a movie I wanted to see was just about to start playing. I decided to stay and watch it. I got my ticket, my soda and popcorn. I walked into the dark movie theater with my hands full of food and new clothes. I tried to find a seat quickly as I knew my largeness was blocking the view of the other patrons. I kind of lost my balance and sat down hard. I heard a loud, "OOOOFFFFFF!" and quickly realized I had sat down on a man already in the seat. It took both of our efforts to get me and my stuff off of him. I was mortified! Even though I couldn't see the screen very well, I went way to the back of the theater to watch the movie. At least I could see the seats back there.
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Pain in the Ass
-Jacquelynn, Pennsylvania
I was six months pregnant and kept feeling horrible pains in my butt. I thought if I just slowed down and took it easy I would feel better, but that was not the case. Late one night I couldn't take it anymore and went to the emergency room. I arrived as quietly and discreetly as a woman could in my condition. I felt my face turning beet red when I had to explain my problem to the male nurse on duty. I was eventually seen by a doctor who explained I had a thrombosed hemorrhoid. The nurse loudly exclaimed, "No wonder you're in pain. You're sitting on a plum!" I wondered if the whole floor heard that. Again, I turned red. The doctor called in a surgeon to remove the hemorrhoid. When the surgeon arrived, he looked at me, smiled and said, "I hear you have a pain in the ass."
At the time I was too busy trying to hide my embarrassment to find the humor in a hemorrhoid. Today, I do get a little chuckle out of my "pain in the ass" experience.
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Baby on the Brain
-Anonymous, South Carolina
I was six months pregnant and working for a veterinarian. While checking out pets, we always ask their owners if they need any special foods or medications to be filled. One day, as I was checking out an elderly couple and their dog, I asked them, "Do you need any birth control today?" I didn't realize what I had said until the husband laughed and replied, "No, but I guess you didn't think about that some months ago."
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A Shot to the Face
-Anonymous, Georgia
During my son's delivery I was pushing for quite a while when suddenly I saw a shot of liquid come out of my vagina and hit the doctor right on the mouth. Fortunately, he had a mask covering most of his face and the liquid didn't go inside his mouth. Later, as he was sewing up my vagina while ordering pizza from the nurse, I asked him what the liquid was. He responded nonchalantly that I had expelled some urine. I was more than embarrassed that I had peed on my doctor's face!
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A Bottomless Conversation
-Megan, Pennsylvania
My husband and I spent almost two years trying to conceive and we finally did with the help of a wonderful reproductive endocrinologist. During that  time I became used to going to the exam room, emptying my bladder and removing my clothes from the waist down. When I got pregnant, I changed from my reproductive doctor to an obstetrician. I thought it would be the same routine. On the first visit the nurse told me to follow the drill and I had a complete examination, including an internal. On my second visit I went into the exam room and removed everything from the waist down. I did notice that there wasn't a modesty sheet, but it was a new doctor so I didn't think too much about it. The doctor came in, had a talk with me and reviewed all of my questions, all the while I was sitting there with just my shirt on. Finally she said, "Well, I guess I will do an internal, but for the future, we don't do them every time you come in." I was mortified, but now know I shouldn't be so quick to take my pants off!
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A Flicker, Then A Fart
-Anonymous, Montana
When I found out I was pregnant, I went to my obstetrician to get my first vaginal ultrasound. I was so nervous and excited. I couldn't believe there was a little life inside me and I could see it flickering on the monitor. The doctor was very quiet and intent as she scanned around the rest of my uterus. I suddenly let out the loudest fart ever -- even the nurse jumped. Not knowing what to do, I just cringed and hoped no one really noticed. When I told my husband about it, he couldn't stop laughing. Looking back, I guess it was kind of comical.
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NOTE: Opinions and advice provided on this website are based on the personal experience of the author, Stacy Quarty. Ms. Quarty in no way claims to be a professional source of medical, psychological or statistical information.
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