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-Robin, New Jersey
I thought I was pregnant, so I went to the drug store and bought a home pregnancy test. When I got home I used the test, put it down on the counter and left for a few minutes to wait for the results. When I went back quite a while later to check, there was nothing—not even the test line showed up. I took the other test in the box and the same thing happened.
My husband and I went back to the drug store to complain that the tests were defective and bought another box of tests from another brand. With the first test, again, nothing! Then I took the second one and was about to cry when no test line showed up. My husband asked if I missed the stick when I peed. I was sure I hadn't. Finally he looked at the test and figured out what was wrong. After I used the test, I put the cap on the wrong end so you couldn't see the results. As it turned out, all the tests had two pink lines!
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Nauseatingly Long Line
-Tanya, Washington
I was suffering from frequent morning sickness, so I went to Costco to stock up on mouthwash. I was standing in an extremely long line with my pregnant belly sticking out, holding my super-sized mouthwash bottles like two enormous dumbbells, when I suddenly felt nauseous. I was almost at the register, so I decided to tough it out and wait until I paid to make a dash to the bathroom. I popped a stick of gum into my mouth and prayed that it was a false alarm. Then the woman behind me in line asked when I was due. I took a deep breath and promptly threw up on her shoes. She didn't say anything. I think she was in shock. All I could do was just stand there in my puddle of vomit, hold my mouthwash and apologize profusely. That was the longest checkout line of my life!.
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Staying-in Shoes
-Suzy, California
I got up for work one morning and felt totally unorganized. I did my usual things: took a shower, fed my cat and kissed my boyfriend goodbye. When I got to work I noticed that my left foot was hurting. I thought nothing of it and figured it was probably just the usual pregnant aches. Right before lunch I reached under my desk to empty the wastebasket...and noticed that I had on two different shoes! They were both the same color, but one was most definitely more comfortable than the other. I had a good laugh at myself and decided to stay in for lunch that day!
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Case of the Missing Cookies
-Melissa, California
I had a friend over for lunch and decided to make homemade pizza, one of my favorite cravings at seven months of pregnancy. A few minutes after I  turned on the oven, I could have sworn I smelled chocolate chip cookies. Was my craving changing? My friend came in and said she smelled it, too. I opened the oven and saw a whole sheet of already baked cookies! A few days prior I had made cookies as a treat for my husband to take on a trip. He left in such a hurry that I forgot to give him the cookies. For the next few days I could not figure out where I had put the cookie sheet and that last batch of cookies. Pregnancy really makes you ditsy!
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Bon Jovi's High Note Breaks Water
-Carolina, Texas
I was 36 weeks pregnant with my first baby and my day started out like any normal day. My husband went off to work and told me that if anything happened I should call him. I made some toast, put on some Bon Jovi music, grabbed a magazine and lay down on the bed to relax. I started to sing to the song "It's My Life," but when I hit the high note of the song I felt a bubble and a pop. My water broke! Since it was my first baby and I was only 36 weeks, I freaked out. I ran to the kitchen to call my mom, my doctor and my husband. On the way to the phone I ran into the wall and a big gush of water came out. I started crying because I was so nervous, and then I threw up. Everything turned out okay, though. Later that day I had a beautiful baby girl at 6lbs. 1oz, without any complications. Still, to this day, every time I hear that Bon Jovi song, I remember what a spaz I was when my water broke, and I have a little laugh.
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I Don't Do HCG!
-Katherine, Washington
I've always been told that I would have a lot of difficulty getting pregnant because I've never had a non-medically induced period. I never had to bother with birth control because I just wasn't ovulating.
Then one day after a routine blood screening, my doctor called me and said with a very serious tone, "I have some news for you. There is HCG in your blood stream." I was aghast and sputtered indignantly "HCG!!!! I have never done drugs in my life! I don't even drink!" When he finally stopped laughing, he told me that HCG is Human Chorionic Gonadotropin, which meant that I was pregnant.
Alas, my case of idiocy did not end there. "Pregnant!" I shouted, "How in the world did that happen?!"
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NOTE: Opinions and advice provided on this website are based on the personal experience of the author, Stacy Quarty. Ms. Quarty in no way claims to be a professional source of medical, psychological or statistical information.
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