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Disappearing Napkin Act
-Julie, California
I was nine months pregnant when my husband and I were invited to our neighbor's house for lunch. During the meal, I suddenly couldn't find my napkin and desperately needed it. My pregnancy has caused me to be quite clumsy and I had just dribbled salad dressing all over my chin and shirt. I could have sworn I had a napkin on my lap. I looked on the floor, under my legs and on my chair. No napkin. Getting quite frustrated, I stood up to search further for it. My husband stifled a laugh and pointed at my crotch. Something was stuck in the folds of my pants. My napkin did a disappearing act in between my huge belly and the crease of my lap. This was quite humorous to all.
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Belly on Display
-Jennifer, Massachusetts
It was post-exam time at the school where I teach. I was about seven months pregnant and came in to clean my office. I usually use the private faculty bathroom upstairs instead of the adjacent student bathroom. Suddenly, I had to pee, so I used the closest student bathroom. Nobody was around. After I was finished emptying my bladder, I caught sight of myself in the full-length mirror. I pulled up my shirt and started admiring my pregnant belly from all angles. Without warning, three male maintenance workers came in without knocking. I was so shocked by their entrance that I forgot to pull my shirt back down over my belly. They weren't the only ones who got a long look at my pregnant belly. There was a crowd gathering in the lobby for an art exhibit that afternoon!
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Not So Smelly
-Chantal, California
One day near the end of my pregnancy I was feeling and looking like I was about to pop. At work, I was helping one of my employees at the cash register and making a bit of small talk with the customers. One woman complimented me on how good I looked, especially being so far along in the pregnancy. My honest, young male employee chimed in and said, "And she doesn't even smell like most fat people do." I wanted to crawl into a shopping bag.
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Laughing Fits
-Kathleen, Texas
When I was about nine months pregnant I would often find myself crying during a Pampers commercial and laughing at the most obscure incidents.  While taking a shower one day, I farted. It was so long and loud-I couldn't believe I was capable of making a noise like that. It struck me as really funny and I started laughing. I laughed so hard that I had to get out of the shower, because I was afraid I might fall. As I was drying myself off, still laughing hysterically, I suddenly felt something warm running down my leg. "Oh my God," I thought. "My water broke!" It was coming out fast! I got myself to the hospital ASAP. After the nurse examined me, she announced that I was not dilated at all, I was showing no signs of labor and my water didn't break. I had just peed on myself! Needless to say, they sent me home quite embarrassed. I tried my best to stifle my laughing fits for the rest of the pregnancy.
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Impolite Table Talk
-Chantal, California
My husband and I had just completed our labor preparation classes and were having dinner at a very nice restaurant. We were seated next to a couple with a brand new baby. My spouse turned to the woman and started a conversation with her. He first asked how long she was in labor and what kind of pain medications she had, if any. The new mother answered his questions, but with a little hesitation. Then my husband asked if the woman had an episiotomy. She turned bright red, as he was talking about her VAGINA after all! I was mortified and the woman's husband looked stupefied. I quickly excused myself and ran off to the bathroom. Later my husband and I had a long talk about the inappropriateness of discussing certain aspects of pregnancy and labor with complete strangers!
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A Crying, Puking & Crying Sonogram
-Gretchen, Texas
I went for my first sonogram with my husband and four-year-old daughter. We were all very excited to see the baby. While being examined, the sonographer blurted out, "Oh my gosh, it's twins!" I cried instantly and then leaned over to throw up in the trash can. I was so mortified at my own reaction, I started crying again. Hormones, I guess, but it was very embarrassing!
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Random Blindness
-Kendra, Oregon
When I was about eight months pregnant with my first child, my baby began pressing on a nerve that was somehow connected to my sight. One day it was quite bad and my vision kept coming and going. While in the grocery store, my sight suddenly left me. I ran into a metal pole in aisle four and fell to the floor. When my sight came back, I was mortified to see a crowd of people gathered around to stare at the klutzy pregnant lady. I'm not going back to that store!
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NOTE: Opinions and advice provided on this website are based on the personal experience of the author, Stacy Quarty. Ms. Quarty in no way claims to be a professional source of medical, psychological or statistical information.
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