Archives of Embarrassing Pregnancy Moments

• Broken Nipples
• Worse than T.P. on the Shoe
• Stinky Burps
• Gushing Expenses
• Farting On the Mood
• A Noisy Sonogram
• Vomit Causes Traffic Jam
• Laughs and Leaks
• "Having Baby" Yoga Pose
• Too Much Water
• Let Down by Gas
• Liberated Breast
• Dog Loves Leaks
• Public Pregnancy Test
• Very Loud Vomiting
• A Singing Epidural
• Birthing a B.M.
• Mashed Potatoes- on the House
• A B.M. in Class
• Plumbing Problems
• Pregnancy Brain Fart
• Pregnant Klepto
• Bumbling Belly
• Fetus Flashing
• A Funny "Pop"
• Sneezing Requires Diapers
• Bowel-Bulging Belly
• A Tight Squeeze in the Dressing Room
• Glamour Girl
• Breastmilk Distance Squirt
• Vomiting in the Apple Basket
• Blame It on the Dog
• Disappearing Napkin Act
• Belly on Display
• Not So Smelly

• Laughing Fits
• Impolite Table Talk
• A Crying, Puking & Crying Sonogram
• Random Blindness
• Pregnancy-Aided War Strategy
• Hospital Gown Flashing
• Bloody Sock
• Runaway Uterus
• Jurassic Fart
• Laundry Basket Leucorrhoea
• Reverse Results
• Nauseatingly Long Line
• Staying-in Shoes
• Case of the Missing Cookies
• Bon Jovi's High Note Breaks Water
• I Don't Do HGC!
• Double Breasted
• This Seat Taken?
• Pain in the Ass
• Baby on the Brain
• A Shot to the Face
• A Bottomless Conversation
• A Flicker, Then A Fart
• Baby Basket Case
• Caught Tooting Two
• My Water Broke! Again?
• Pay To Puke?
• Nursing Nurse
• "No Puking" Spot
• In Law in the Way
• Boozin' & Burstin' Pregnant Woman?
• That's What They All Say
• Double Phew!
• May the Force be with My Husband

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Sneezing Requires Diapers
-Cassie, Nevada

I'm 26 weeks pregnant with my second pregnancy. With this spring weather, my allergies are more intense than ever and I've been having lots of sneezing fits. The other day I was standing around the kitchen with my husband, his best friend and my 16-month-old daughter. A sneezing fit caught me by surprise. My husband's friend, with bulging eyes, asked me if I was okay. He seemed overly concerned. I said I was just fine and then looked down to notice that my light gray sweatpants were now streaked with dark gray from my crotch to my ankles. I had wet myself! My husband started cracking up to the point of tears. Then my daughter said, "Uh-oh!" and brought me one of her diapers.

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Bowel-Bulging Belly
-Christie, New York

I've had constipation problems my whole life and since I've been pregnant it's been particularly terrible. I'm 26 weeks and everyone at work loves to touch my belly as it has gotten so big. One night I had a huge bout of diarrhea. When I woke up, it looked like I had lost 10 pounds. I've been wearing looser clothing to work ever since. I don't want everyone to see that my belly went down. I'm too embarrassed to tell them I think they were petting my b.m.!

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A Tight Squeeze in the Dressing Room
-Renee, Ohio

When I was pregnant with my first child I gained almost 70lbs. Needless to say, I was quite large. At a maternity store, I went into a dressing room to try on a shirt. It didn't fit. I tried to exit the dressing room to retrieve a larger size, but my belly wouldn't fit through the door. I tried turning a little to the left and a little to the right to wiggle my way out. I only succeeded in scraping the sides of my middle on the wooden door jamb. Ouch! This was getting really embarrassing, especially since there was now a line of women waiting to try on their items. I finally figured it out: I had to exit like I entered, with my rear end coming out first. I didn't bother trying on that larger size. There was no way I was going back into that dressing room!

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Glamour Girl
-Barbara, Washington

On the day my son was born, my husband was by my side, helping me through the labor and delivery. At the hospital, while in the throes of pretty intense contractions, my hubby helped me from the restroom to the bed. As he was holding me up, I threw up, peed on the floor and pooped myself all at once. I looked into his eyes and said, "Honey, it doesn't get more glamorous than this!"

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Breastmilk Distance Squirt
-Heather, Indiana

One morning when I was nine months pregnant, my husband and I were getting dressed for work. He was standing in front of me, adjusting his tie in the bedroom mirror while I was struggling to pull on my shirt. It seemed like all of my clothes were getting so small. As I pulled the shirt over my head, my arm bumped into my breast and it squirted out a stream of milk. My husband grabbed the back of his neck, turned around and said, "Was that YOU?"I had no idea breasts could squirt that far!

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Vomiting in the Apple Basket
-Anonymous, Florida

I'm in my second trimester and thought I was over the morning sickness. As I was finishing my grocery shopping one day, I got a whiff of the meat counter. The mingling smells of pork, cheese, beef, tuna salad and salami suddenly made my stomach clench. I was unable to make it to the bathroom, which was all the way across the store. I got as far as the produce section and vomited in an apple basket. I was so embarrassed that I quickly abandoned my cart and made a speedy departure. I have not returned to that store since.

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Blame it on the Dog
-Michelle, Pennsylvania

I am in my fourth month of pregnancy and cannot control my gas. I've been resorting to blaming it on my three-year-old basset hound. My husband has been giving the dog Beano pills for gas. And, just this week, he even took him to the vet to see what could be done. I do not have the heart to fess up, so poor Max (the dog) will just have to be blamed for another six months.

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NOTE: Opinions and advice provided on this website are based on the personal experience of the author, Stacy Quarty. Ms. Quarty in no way claims to be a professional source of medical, psychological or statistical information.