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Vomit Causes Traffic Jam
-Kandy, Alabama
When I was three months pregnant I had many bouts of severe headaches and vomiting. During this time, my hubby, mother-in-law and I decided to go out to celebrate my birthday. While driving to the restaurant, I started to feel a little nauseous. When the car came to a halt at a stop sign, I jumped out and frantically looked for a discreet place to be sick. But it was too late—there was no time! I ran to the rear of the car and vomited profusely. When I stood up and wiped my mouth I saw a long string of traffic, with impatient drivers poking their heads out of their windows, waiting for our car to move. That's the day I realized when you become a parent all dignity goes out the window!
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Laughs and Leaks
-Michael, Florida
When I was about six months pregnant my husband took me out to a movie. After the show there was a large crowd of people in the lobby trying to get out. While I was standing there waiting for the line to move, something just hit me as funny and I started to laugh. As I laughed I realized that I was peeing down my leg and I couldn't stop. The more I peed, the more I laughed—I thought that was even funnier. As I felt my shoes start to get soggy, I finally had the composure to tell my husband that we had to leave NOW! He escorted me out to the car with my sneakers sloshing. I realized I didn't have anything to sit on to protect the brand new leather seats in my car. We finally found a brown paper bag and used that so I wouldn't ruin the leather. I now know what it means to have "the pregnancy laughs and leaks!"
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"Having Baby" Yoga Pose
-Anonymous, Arizona
While teaching a yoga class I was bringing the students into the "Happy Baby" pose. I accidentally said "Having Baby" pose. One of the men in the class knew I was 24 weeks pregnant and blurted, "Having Baby Pose? No offense, but I don't think I want to see this!"
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Too Much Water
-Tajja, New York
During my second pregnancy my doctor recommended that I drink a lot of water. One day, my fiancé, my nine-year-old son and I went to the movies. As I was staring at the big screen, I noticed that I was having some pains and I felt the baby pushing down quite hard on my uterus. With this pressure and pain I thought I might be going into labor. Soon I felt a warm liquid running down my leg. I thought, “Oh, gosh...this must be it!” I told my fiancé that my water had broken and that we had to leave. He was very nervous because this was his first child. On the way to the hospital I still felt the same pressure and pains. When I was examined I found out that my water had not broken. The liquid was urine. The baby must have been pushing on my bladder, causing the pain and leakage. When my family found this out they all laughed incredibly hard. I laughed too...and peed myself again!
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Let Down by Gas
-Nicole, Oklahoma
When I was about eight weeks pregnant I had the worst constipation. I had an appointment for a vaginal ultrasound and hadn't had a bowel movement for quite some time. While waiting in the ultrasound room I started to feel  the WORST gas pain of my life. I was naked from the waist down, except for the tiny paper towel you use on your lap. I really did not want to pass gas right before or when the doctor came in. I knew it would be huge and knew it would not be pleasant. I tried holding it in as I felt the giant gas bubbles moving their course, piercing my abdomen, causing me to break out into a sweat. My buttocks and thighs became wetter and wetter as I sat on the table trying not to break deadly wind. I was sweating so much that the paper underneath me was tearing. As I was writhing on the paper, the doctor came in. After pleasantries were finished he told me to lie down and spread my legs. My body was clenched so tight he had to tell me three times to relax. It was so hard to relax and keep the deadly air in, too. Then I got to see my baby on the monitor, which was wonderful. I was so mesmerized I almost forgot to hold my air. Finally, the ultrasound was over and my doctor left the room so I could dress. As I relaxed, a teeny, tiny bit of air escaped. "That's it?!" I thought. It wasn't nearly as big as it felt. I admit I was kind of let down by that!
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Liberated Breast
-Anonymous, Pennsylvania
I've always been embarrassed about revealing my body, but since I've been pregnant I've decided to throw caution to the wind and show off my figure. Maybe it's my raging sex hormones. I'm 30 weeks pregnant and have developed rather large, full breasts. The other day I decided to go braless under a low-cut, ivory, empire-waist dress with a pretty snug top. I knew that my big breasts would be straining against the light fabric, revealing my dark areolas and nipples. I went out to run errands and felt pretty pleased when people turned to look. He, he! When I got back into my car I noticed that the button on the bodice had come apart and I had been walking around town with an exposed breast. So much for trying to feel liberated.
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NOTE: Opinions and advice provided on this website are based on the personal experience of the author, Stacy Quarty. Ms. Quarty in no way claims to be a professional source of medical, psychological or statistical information.
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