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Baby Basket Case
-Stephanie, North Carolina
At 36 weeks along in my second pregnancy, I noticed that this baby was a real mover and shaker. I was standing in line at the grocery store one day, leaning back and holding my basket against my stomach. Suddenly the baby kicked and the basket went flying from my grip. I thought it was quite comical and started laughing, but the guy in front of me with my spaghetti sauce all over his sneakers didn't find it funny at all. I tried to explain that my baby kicked, but he just rolled his eyes at me. I knew this child would be a handful—wreaking havoc before she even came into the world!
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Caught Tooting Two
-Jessica, Pennsylvania
The other day I was at the grocery store with my three-year-old son. I suddenly felt my stomach gurgling and getting tight. I had to pass gas. I was starting to feel a little faint from holding it in, so I quickly scanned the area and then let two fly. My son said, "Eww Mom! Do you have to poop or something? That’s disgusting." Then I heard a man start laughing. I peered around my cart and saw the man crouched down, getting something off of the bottom shelf. When I saw this man again at the checkout line, I wanted to throw a shopping bag over my head!
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My Water Broke! Again?
-Tiffany, Tennessee
With the birth of my first daughter, I had a C-section at 3pm on a Saturday. I was given plenty of painkillers that night so that I’d be more comfortable. I woke up at 3am and called the nurse. "My water broke," I exclaimed. The nurse kept assuring me that I had already had the baby. I kept on insisting that I was about to go into labor. Couldn’t they see that my water had broken?! I put down the baby I was holding to show them just what I was talking about…and suddenly realized that baby I just placed on the bed was my own. Those must have been some pretty powerful drugs!
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Pay To Puke?
-Sandy, Arizona
I had morning sickness throughout most of my pregnancy and frequently found myself running to the ladies room to expel my latest meal. One night I was having dinner at a restaurant in Las Vegas when I suddenly noticed the bile rising in the back of my throat. I had to get to a toilet quickly. I dashed off to the ladies room only to find it had pay toilets. I had no money on me, and it was too late to go back to the table. I had to get in there. I got down on all fours and tried to crawl under the door. I couldn’t fit that way, so I had to shimmy in sideways. I didn’t quite make it and began vomiting while still lying on the floor. Just then a giggling group of young girls came in. That must have been quite a sight to see my pregnant body sticking out from under the door while I puked on the base of the toilet.
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Nursing Nurse
-Anonymous, Illinois
About three months after I gave birth to my daughter, I returned to work at the hospital as a Patient Care Tech. I was still breast feeding and my  breasts leaked all the time. I always changed my breast pads before each round. One day, one of my patients started to take a turn for the worse and I didn’t have time to change my pads. Four hours later, my patient went into a full code. A rush of doctors and nurses filled the room while I helped in CPR and blood draws. After the patient was removed from the floor, I finally had a chance to visit the ladies room. I was wearing thin, white scrubs that were now practically transparent! My breasts leaked all up and down my entire shirt and melted the pads I had on. And I was wearing a thin bra, which left nothing to the imagination. My male co-workers saw this "progression" during my runs to the lab, but they didn't bother to tell me. I never wore white scrubs again.
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"No Puking" Spot
-Lauren, California
I was about seven months pregnant when I went with my boyfriend to meet his military recruiter. On the car ride there I started to feel very nauseous. I decided to stay in the car while he had his meeting. I just didn’t feel well enough to go inside.Even before he could get out of the car, though, I felt the food coming up. I quickly leaned out the window and threw up. After I stopped vomiting, he went to his meeting and I tried to sleep. It was getting too hot inside the car and the smell of vomit made me feel even sicker. I got out of the car and immediately started vomiting again. Then I heard a little girl in the car next to me say, "Daddy, look! That lady is puking! Eeeewww! Daddy, it's all over your car!!" I was mortified!The man got out of his car, wiped the puke splatters off the passenger door and proceeded to move his car two spots down. It was a "No Parking" spot, but I guess that was better than a "Puking" spot.
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In-Law in the Way
-Anonymous, Oregon
During my first labor I felt very nauseous with each contraction. I was being wheeled into the OR for my C-section with my husband and mother-in-law by my side. My mother-in-law kept telling me to breathe through the contractions, which really annoyed me. She had annoyed me through most of my pregnancy, in fact.At one point I suddenly felt worse and looked around for the trash can to vomit in. It was at least 15 feet away. I had no time; I had to let out the vomit. I turned to my right and my mother-in-law was standing right there. I said, "Would you please move?" She looked at me, bewildered, and slowly stepped aside. I let loose all over the floor and her shoes. I felt horrible and couldn't stop apologizing.She stayed behind to clean up her shoes while they took me down to the OR. I was laughing inside, but feeling bad as well. Later that day she said I repaid her with a beautiful new grandbaby.
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Boozin’ & Burstin’ Pregnant Woman?
-Andrea, Kentucky
I’m about eight months pregnant and recently went to a bar with my best friend so that I could be the designated driver. Soon after arriving, I noticed several people staring at me and my bulging belly. "What’s she doing here?" their glaring eyes seemed to say. After a few drinks my friend got really klutzy and knocked her drink over. It landed right in my lap. My friend wasn’t ready to leave, so for the next hour I tried my best to conceal the wet stain in my crotch. It looked as if my water had broken. You should have seen the stares then!
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That’s What They All Say
-Anonymous, New York
When I was eight weeks pregnant, my doctor was performing a pap smear and asked, "Has anyone ever told you that you have a tilted cervix?" I blurted out, "Oh, everyone tells me that!" I soon felt my face turn hot and beet red once I realized how that must have sounded!
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Double Phew!
-Elizabeth, Arizona
I’m 10 weeks pregnant and had a horrible cold last weekend. I was on my way to check the mail at the community mail box station and had almost arrived there when I suddenly had a coughing fit. Before I knew it, pee was pouring down my legs, no matter how hard I tried to hold it in. I grabbed my crotch, but it still kept gushing. I didn't even know I had to go! I rushed to the mailbox and quickly walked back home. I had almost reached my front door when my neighbor shouted hello from next door. I think she wanted to chat. I quickly opened the front door, stuck my behind inside and told her I had to get in the house because I was expecting a call. Phew! That was a close one. As I turned to run upstairs, my husband poked his head around the corner and asked me what was wrong. "Gotta go to the bathroom," I shouted over my shoulder. Thank goodness he was too preoccupied watching the big game to notice how soaked I had become. Double Phew!
May the Force be with My Husband
A Long Time Ago in an Examination Room Far, Far Away
Star Wars: Episode 20-Weeks
-Danielle, Louisiana
During my 20-week sonogram my husband picked up a wand-looking object and starting playing with it like it was some sort of lightsaber. When he started thrusting it up in the air like Luke Skywalker, I told him it was used for vaginal sonograms. He quickly dropped it and ran to the bathroom in a panic. The tech and I sat there and laughed for 20 minutes straight!
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NOTE: Opinions and advice provided on this website are based on the personal experience of the author, Stacy Quarty. Ms. Quarty in no way claims to be a professional source of medical, psychological or statistical information.
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