New York Post
July 10, 2006

A Bun In the Office
Expecting? Here's What to Expect on the Job
by Eileen Conlan

Photo: Taxi/Getty Images
FIRE IN THE BELLY: More than half of pregnant women stay
on the job until the last month - and some until the last day.

The strip turned blue. You can hide it for only so long before the whispering by the water cooler begins. Your face is getting rounder and, let’s face it, those baggy sweaters aren’t fooling anyone. It’s time to put the rumors to rest. There are some key things to do when breaking the news to the office - professionally.

JUST DO IT

When it comes to telling your superiors you’re pregnant, don’t wait, advises Ellen Galinsky, president of the Families and Work Institute. Her organization, a nonprofit advocacy group that promotes fairness in the workplace, found that women who tell their superiors early more often ended up with well-managed maternity- leave time. That said, waiting until after the first trimester is recommended.

NEGOTIATE, NEGOTIATE, NEGOTIATE

“Work with your employer to figure out a plan that benefits both of you,” Galinsky says. “If your boss had a bad experience in the past, explain how your situation will be different.” She warns, however, not to make promises you can’t keep. “Give it your best guess, and try to work out a plan so you can return to work in a gradual way,” she says. “Be involved in training the person who will cover your work, and stay in touch often.”

TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS - AND YOUR HEALTH

According to a recent report by the National Partners for Women and Families, more than half of pregnant women stay on the job until the last month -and some even work up until the last day. “I would go crazy if I was pregnant at home, says Kiana Byrnes, a senior underwriter at a Midtown financial firm. “If you make a good income and enjoy your job, it’s hard to give that up.” For freelance writer Bari Nan Cohen it was easy to stay on the job - she works from home. "I could work while reclining on the couch, feet up," she says.

Because her working situation was ideal, she says, "It never occurred to me to stop accepting assignments in the months before my due date."

So there she was, leaving a voice mail message for her editor at 2 a.m. Cohen was on deadline for an article - but she was on her way to the hospital with a different kind of deadline altogether.

"I was still in the mind-set that I'd give birth and pop back to my laptop in a few days' time," she says. "Twenty-three hours and a C-section later, I couldn't think straight for weeks."

Marci Lobel, assistant professor of psychologyat SUNY Stony Brook, says women's psychological reactions during pregnancy are as different as the women themselves.

"Variables such as whether they've been pregnant before, the type of work they do, their financial situation, family life and partners all play a role," says Lobel, whose research focuses on prenatal maternal stress and its effect on birth outcomes.

While many women prefer to continue working during their pregnancies, it's important to stay healthy and comfortable while doing so. Elizabeth Stein, a certified nurse midwife with a private practice in Manhattan, stresses that pregnant women need to carefully balance their lives, and rest often.

Eat small meals or snacks every three hours, she recommends, noting that pregnant women can be at risk for hypoglycemia, or low blood sugar, which won't affect the baby, but can make you dizzy and weak if you don't eat frequently.

And don't wait until you get to work to eat. Start within a half hour of getting up in the morning, says Stein, who runs a Web site called askyourmidwife.com.

"Take food with you on the subway or in the car. And stay hydrated by drinking water every hour."

It's also important to get up from your desk regularly, even if your expanded belly makes you disinclined to budge.

"Women need to get up and move around," says Stein. "Go once around the desk every hour, to help circulation."

While working on Bill Weld's recently aborted gubernatorial campaign, Manhattan mom-to-be Karyn Devito made a point of walking 10 to 12 blocks to get a sandwich at lunch some days.

"It's a way to reduce stress, to get outside and get some air and exercise," she says.

Remember to tread carefully, though - you're not as agile as you once were.

"In the last 4-6 weeks, women are often wobbly on their feet," says Stein. "They need comfortable, stable shoes, and should move slowly and carefully."

Other tips for keeping healthy include taking your prenatal vitamins, getting plenty of sleep and eating healthy.

Consider the quality of your indoor air, as well; Stein stresses that your work environment should be safe for the baby. Make sure there's adequate ventilation, and that you're not be exposed to any harmful chemicals or fumes, and that the workplace is not overly hot or cold.

The times, they are a-changin'

Be prepared for some adjustments. Nausea and vomiting are common in the first trimester, and accommodations in the workplace might be necessary. Lobel suggests keeping food close at hand - and not showing up on an empty stomach.

Later on in the pregnancy, when it's harder to move around, being on your feet might be more difficult. If your job calls for being on your feet a lot, try sitting on a stool to reduce physical stress.

Know that it's natural to become more tired and uncomfortable as your pregnancy proceeds. At 35 weeks, a woman's energy typically declines. If you can afford it, Lobel suggests stopping work after a certain point.

"It depends on the situation. Women with other children may experience more changes in productivity than those who are having their first child," she says. "Social support also affects productivity at work."

My, how you've grown!

When Emily was pregnant at work, she milked it for all it was worth.

"You can eat the two - or 10 - donuts at the morning meeting, because everyone knows you have a license to eat whatever you please."

While some may chalk up weight gain as part of being pregnant, and take it in stride, others may be more concerned by the changes in their appearance. Lobel warns to prepare for the possibility that strangers may touch your belly - or even make comments about your size, especially if your job includes a lot of exposure to the public.

"Some women respond with humor, but others might respond differently, particularly if a man touches her without permission'" she says. "It's something to be aware of."

If you work with someone who is pregnant, being sensitive to your co-worker's needs can help maintain a good office atmosphere.

"You don't say to an obese person, 'Gee, you're really large,'" says Lobel.

So to avoid awkward situations, keep the comments - and your hands - to yourself.

Ditch the stilettos

Along with bodily changes come wardrobe changes. Byrnes, the Midtown underwriter, learned this the hard way one morning when her heel caught on her coat and she fell off the bus stairs on her way to work.

"I'm 5-foot-0, so I loved my heels, but I had to give them up," she says.

Regina, a fashion director who is pregnant with her first child, recommends spiking the heels in favor of espadrilles and wedges.

"They offer more support, and are stylish," she says. "Don't be afraid to show off your calves - they're probably the skinniest part of your body!"

To be professional without breaking the bank, Regina suggests buying as many clothes as possible that you can continue to wear post-pregnancy.

"This season, empire waists are everywhere, thick jersey material is comfortable and looks great, and big, boxy jackets can hide a lot," she says.

The key to looking put-together while pregnant, she reveals, is balance. If you have volume on top, try to hide it with a narrow pant or a skirt that stops at the knee.

Oh, the embarrassment!

If you've ever had a question you've been afraid to ask your doctor, Stacy Quarty most likely has it covered. The author of "Frankly Pregnant," and the founder of franklypregnant.com, a Web site where women share embarrassing pregnancy stories, Quarty says she was never able to find enough information about what happens during pregnancy.

"I bought every book - and there's so much they don't tell you," she says.

Her site helps women develop a sense of humor about the unpredictable circumstances pregnancy can lead to.

"I can only think of how degrading it was when someone walked into my office while I was [using a breast pump]," writes a literary agent.

Another woman writes: "One day I got to work and noticed my left foot was hurting. I figured it was probably just the usual pregnant aches.

"Right before lunch I reached under my desk to empty the wastebasket ... and noticed that I had on two different shoes! I had a good laugh at myself, and decided to stay in for lunch that day."

Pregnancy can be a strange and embarrassing time, and if you can't laugh at yourself, it's going to be rough going, says Quarty.

"Take everything with a grain of salt," she says.

She should know - she's had plenty of her own work embarrassments.

"I was in a client meeting, talking about Web design and colors, and instead of saying, 'We don't mean to nickel and dime you,' I said, 'We're not going to nipple and dime you.'"

Another time, "Toilet paper fell out of my pants, and a client picked it up. I'm not sure if he knew where it came from. He was just trying to help, but I was mortified."

Get support - and not just from a nursing bra

WHILE it's not professional to talk about your pregnancy incessantly at work, some mothers have turned the taboo of pregnancy upside down with organizations to support expectant women.

Big City Moms, a group founded two years ago by sisters Risa Goldberg and Leslie Venokur, offers a solution for mothers looking for a community within New York City.

"When you're pregnant, you have so many questions. You want a friend to speak to," says Goldberg. She had made stay-at-home friends while on maternity leave, but found she missed out on fun outings once she went back to work.

Today, their weekly Expectant Moms dinners address specific topics and allow for discussion among pregnant women.

"It's a good chance to address your questions to real moms, and it makes you more confident in what you're doing," says Goldberg.

For information on joining the group, check out bigcitymoms.com.

If you're too busy to meet up with other moms, you can bond online.

In May, Amy Keroes launched Mommy Track'd (mommytrackd.com), which calls itself "The working mother's guide to managed chaos." It offers articles on hot topics, survival tips and message boards for working mothers trying to find a balance between work and family.

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